BREAKING: Trump Fires Jeff Sessions For Connection To Espionage

Now former Attorney General Jeff Sessions will be applying for jobs in little countries that don’t expect much of their democratically appointed and confirmed officials. Jeff Sessions went full meathead when he recused himself, showing he doesn’t even have the cojones to lie to Congress if he has to in order to back his own president.

Now we find out that Sessions not only fumbled the ball, but this morning it was revealed that the young NSA operative now charged with espionage was working directly for Sessions to purposely leak information to the Russians. Sessions, like Flynn before him, never cared about his country or his president. He only cared about money.

Sessions was given the chance to resign yesterday and refused, saying that the whole thing was blown out of proportion. This morning, video evidence was shown to President Trump of Sessions and the spy having tuna on rye by the indoor White House pool where she handed him a communication of some sort along with a package that looked to contain a large sum of cash. The two continued like they were old pals and parted ways.

Secret Service agents are combing through months of footage of federal buildings looking for more meetings. They figure if Sessions was brazen enough to take Russian bribes a stone’s throw from the Oval Office he probably would have done it before as well.

No word yet on charges until the two cases are presented to Rory McLelland, US Attorney for Washington D.C. His office says they have their hands full and will comment as soon as possible and that Sessions should be aware that nobody is above the law.