Private citizen and ex-president Barack Obama had planned on waking up to his life of luxury on the taxpayer’s dime. What he didn’t realize is that Donald Trump rarely sleeps. President Trump, after spending the night being a winner and thinking up ways to make Obama pay for everything he’s done for our country, signed an order early this morning that will forever change how the Obama’s live.
When asked about taking away Obama’s security briefings, Trump’s Twitter handler and Fox News liaison, Jeff, told The Washington Examiner:
“Why should taxpayers pay for an intelligence officer to follow an ex-president around and tell him all of our secrets, especially when the president isn’t even an American? Obama is gone. The American people have spoken and they said ‘we want the White House to be white again.’ President Trump has no choice but to act on the wishes of the people.”
Obama will also be required to purchase his own kevlar and will no longer be supplied with Presidential stationary, though Office Depot has said they’ll offer him a discount on printing. On that news, Office Depot was removed from a list of prospective supply houses for the Trump administration.
People will learn one way or the other: This is Trump’s America now. We do what he says.